Laziness has overtaken us

The house is a mess. Not just a small mess that you can pick up in 5-10 minutes, but the kind that once you start cleaning you realize that there is yet another level of grime/dust/ground in cheerios/dried spaghetti in the carpet/general grossness that needs to be dealt with- at some other time. It's the "some other time" that never seems to come around. By the time we get around to Spring Cleaning it will be too cold to open up the windows and clean the screens and glass. At some point I did actually start to follow the advice that everyone gives new moms about just letting some stuff go in order to make yourself go less crazy that first year with a baby. The things I have let go are (in no particular order)- an overall clean house, clean car, myself, the cat's grooming (sorry Tibby), and regular church going. Strangely enough I seem to be okay with most of these things except the regular church going (thanks to the old Catholic guilt) and letting myself go. Seems as though the days that I head into town with the track pants on and a stained up baseball cap covering the "not showered yet and it's past noon" head of hair are the days that I will run into someone from my past- a highschool acquaintance, a former boss, an old teacher, or family friend. That's just how it works for me.

Went to the Pageant of Bands today with Bright. He still has a fever but the on-call doctor didn't seem concerned. So we dosed him up with Tylenol and packed him in the car for the short trip. About 10-15 high school marching bands competed for awards in the Parade Performance category. Andy and I liked it, Bright was just excited to see some dogs walk by us while we were there.

Off to bed. Bright had us up a lot last night and has woken up twice in the 2 hours he's been down already tonight. His 15 month appointment is coming and we aren't getting shots. He was due for a Hep A shot but there is a shortage of that so he won't get it and his Tetanus was given to him too early so he won't need that either. I had spoken briefly to our doctor about postponing his other upcoming shots until he starts making some headway in talking and she was very supportive of this, a pleasant surprise. The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears has great information on an Alternative Vaccination Schedule to help reduce the amount of aluminum that our kids are exposed to at such a young age. I only wish we had read it before Bright was born.

No more news. Good night!

Feverish Friday

Tonight Bright had a fever. He had taken two naps today, unusual now for him. He wasn't excited about his bath tonight and when we took him outside to look at the lake he made the saddest face I have seen from him. When we came in we both thought his head was hot and when we took his temp it was high. A little Tylenol and he was back to his usual self. No other signs of sickness. We'll keep our fingers crossed that this was just a fluke.

Today the woman that runs story time at our library asked me if I would be interested in running the lap sit for babies this summer. Yes please! So I am stoked about that! From July to August and I can just plan it any way that I would like. Great!

Had to see the doctor today for a plugged milk duct. Can you believe that there is only one lactation consultant out here for three counties? That is so sad. Be thankful for when you do find those skilled professionals out there, and soak up every bit of wisdom you can. I have thanked Janie from the Birth Center a million times in my head for all of her help before we moved. They have an amazing program out there in Eugene. I asked about midwives out here when I was seeing the doc. She said they only have lay midwives that work under a surgeon and then they only are in contact when something bad has happened. The closest group is an hour away. Ugh! How can there be such a difference in lifestyles, values and services in our country? I guess if you never experienced a midwife, you'd never question whether your care could have been any different. If you never saw or heard of a lactation consultant (and a good one at that) when you had trouble breastfeeding, then you'd never know that it could be different.

Thankfully we all had a nice, quiet night of sleep here last night. Upstairs girl must be going back to working the night shift. Yahoo!

Time for bed. Andy is watching Man vs. Wild and it always makes me tense. That poor guy goes through so much awful stuff when they just drop him in the middle of nowhere, left to build his own shelters, find food, survive near drownings, etc. Sounds like entertainment to me. Andy would say that I am just getting cranky in my old age... to that I say, "Get off my yard you damn kids!".

Busy Days

Now that Andy is off on summer vacation (YAHOO!!!) we have been keeping our days pretty full. So busy in fact the things we have done are hard to recall right now. We did just come back from a busy afternoon of shopping and eating out. The Wegmans grocery store has a really nice outdoor dining section with couches and great tables so we bought dinner there and took it outside. Bright was really distracted by all of the cool things there and didn't eat much of his dinner, but did get excited about the classic car and truck cruise-in that was also going on in the parking lot. He loves trucks! We are planning on taking him to a good old fashioned tractor pull in a few weeks. I think it will blow his mind. All of these country things that I used to like when I was really young and then came to despise when I was a surly teen, I can't wait to share them with Brighty. Tomorrow we are planning on going to the Pageant of Bands in a town nearby. I have never been to it, only tried driving through the tiny town when it was happening and the town was mobbed. It should be fun.

Since Bright is down to one nap he seems to be making the most of it. He has been taking two hour + naps lately and still sleeping about 10.5-11 hours straight at night. Who would have ever thought that that would happen? Certainly not us at 10 months. Back then we were hoping for a solid three hours straight. So many things to be thankful for.

On a frustrating note, and if you're easily offended stop reading now....................
The girl upstairs seems to have a new boyfriend- or something like that. So we live in a small apartment complex with VERY thin walls and well, need I say more? The past few night we have gone to bed, only to be woken up shortly thereafter, and also woken up at 5am (5am? really? who does that then???!!) again. Ugh! We will definitely need to move before Bright starts asking questions about that. Thankfully since he managed to sleep through fireworks at Spring Fest a few weeks ago we aren't to worried about him right now.

Rethinking the day

Now that we understand that Bright doesn't need two naps a day it has made us rethink how we will structure our days. Mornings will still be pretty chill around here. He is pooped a few hours after waking up and goes down pretty easy for that nap. Afternoons now mean trips! Yay! Today we went to Canandaigua to run an errand for my mom and there was no worrying that he would meltdown from not having his nap. He did just fine in the car. A little fussy but only because all he did was ride along and get corralled in stores. We were able to get a lot of things done today now that Andy is done with teaching. Five loads of laundry (2 weeks worth!), dusting, playing with Bright, trips out, visiting Matty with pneumonia at Mom and Dad's, gardening, more chasing after Bright, and some grownup time after he finally fell asleep. Honestly he is wiped out by 6:30, falls asleep nursing and will sleep through the night without a peep most night, waking up to start his day by 6am. That is okay with me- it gives Andy and I a huge break and time to ourselves each night and by 4:30am the dang birds outside our window are so darn loud it's hard to sleep late even if you wanted to. I just need to make sure I get some downtime during his morning nappy so I can last as long as he does :)

It's okay

Update: Two days ago I called the doctor's office to see what in the world I could do differently to end the afternoon no nap battle. The nurse was of no help so I asked to have the doc call me back. Yesterday she finally did. She told me that after age one, most babies drop off a nap and that is just fine. What!? There goes my afternoon nap/get stuff done time. But also a welcome relief knowing that there is nothing wrong with him. Enjoy those naps out there girls when you can get them. Yet another sign that he is no longer a tiny babe.

again?

The afternoon nap protest continues here. This must be a solid week now. I am trying some new put down strategies also, but I don't think that is what's causing this, nor do I think it is because of his cold. He has been working really hard lately at getting into stuff, climbing on questionable things, trying to talk, etc. I think it's developmental milestones in the making that are wrecking our schedule. We are all trying to stay positive here and for the most part it's working. He isn't terribly cranky in the afternoon, and does fall asleep pretty quickly at bedtime. Only problem is that he wakes up a bunch of times in the first two hours after we put him down. My best guess is that he thinks he is just down for a nap and is ready for action again.

Went to the Child and Family Center again today. Can't beat the free play materials there. Some kids with questionable behaviors- not super bad, just somewhat rough around the edges, but when they start acting up, we just go check out other things in a different room.

We have noticed that Bright is going through some sort of eating spurt. I made angel hair spaghetti with just regular low sodium sauce and some cheddar cheese on it for him and he ate almost two bowls in a sitting. Today he ate a half an avacado, minus a bite or two for Andy, along with his regular lunch. He's been jammin' on Club crackers for snacks lately and gets really annoyed if you have one and he wants it bad! We have also learned that yes, you can choke on watermelon when you are 14 months old. Ugh- enough with the choking. Daddy needs to give him smaller pieces (hint, hint).

Check out new pictures.

Bright last June with his pro-breastfeeding onesie

Same onesie, almost one year later

Lunch today, a bit frazzled

trying to put on socks

Saturday we planted flowers at Grammy and Grampy's. Bright took a face plant into the geraniums there but didn't seem phased by the mouthful of dirt that he ate. Total boy. We bought some more plants for our garden space here and I went completely overboard with cramming things into our little plot. Andy swears nothing will produce anything to eat, but we'll see. I have great memories of our community garden plot at the Matthews Garden site by Westmoreland that we had for three years. We used to grow all kinds of things- corn, strawberries, beans, zucchini, squash, peppers, carrots, tomatoes- heirlooms, cherry, and yellows. Our last year there Andy did all of the work since I had such bad morning sickness and the smell of the dirt and plants made me sick. Here in NY we have tomatoes, broccoli, oregano, basil, zucchini, and leeks growing.

Bright slept great last night.From 7-6am, with only 2 brief wakeups right after we put him down. This morning we went to Walmart about a half hour from here. I used to have such ethical issues with that store but things change- when you have one income and no other shopping places nearby, Walmart starts to look okay. When I say no other shopping options, I mean it. If you want new underwear in Penn Yan, you are SOL. The mall is an hour away.

Today we are all home nursing our colds in various stages. Andy has it now which means by main backup is not going to be as strong today. Fortunately Bright fell asleep in the car on the way home from shopping so that nap put down was a piece of cake. Mmmm, cake... :)

Friday's Finished

Here's just a few pictures from today. Bright has a cold. I have a cold. Andy has a cold. The only one who has escaped it is the cat. All is well here though. Perhaps the fuss has ended.

Playing with home made playdough- just cornstarch, baking soda and water, with a hint of mint extract added for fun. It smelled nice and who's house with a toddler couldn't stand a nice smell every now and again.


Bright and Andy in a very Lady and the Tramp-esque pose sharing a cracker.

Bright getting ready to love up the kitty. God bless her- she hasn't struck out at him once, even when he flops on top of her.

Aargh!

Wow- we have really been smacked with the "not sleeping" stick here. I can't even begin to describe our last couple of days- mainly because the sleep deprivation has blessedly caused me to forget them. Ol' Chuffy has been waking up multiple times and staying up, not napping, or napping only 45 minutes a day. He has been clingy, and wow, downright naughty at times. By naughty I guess I mean adventurous in a dangerous kind of way by trying to climb up the shelves on a desk, tipping over chairs on top of himself, climbing onto chairs and then standing up, climbing on the futon and then walking across it, trying to climb from the futon to the top of the filing cabinet with eyes on getting to the windowsill, and generally biting everything in his path when he is told no or redirected. Teething, you say? Probably but this has been an agonizingly slow, drawn out process if that is the case. My mistakes have been in trying to regroup after a long day by staying up to watch my shows like Top Chef, Work Out or the guilty pleasure of wasting time by watching The Hills. This puts we wake until 11pm and when the nighttime follies begin at 2 am and last until 4 am, I am wrecked the next day.

How many days until Andy is done for the summer? Too many. He says he is beginning to dread the double ring of his office phone, knowing that it will likely be me calling to say Bright hasn't taken his nap yet again and we really need to do something about this, blah blah blah. Not too much he can do about it though.

I went to a meeting last night- a volunteer thing for the United Way. People went around and introduced themselves and said where they worked. I felt totally lame when my turn came and I said "Rachael, Stay At Home Mom". Everyone just cooed about how noble that was and how unusual it is these days and how they wished that they could have done it. Of course my ever skeptical side was thinking "They think I have never done anything with myself". Although I may have had more education than most of them there. Really after yesterday and today I find myself thinking it would be really nice to have a job and get some space every now and then. Bright would probably love the kids at daycare. Now, I just need to find a place that will carry my 24 pound bundle of joy to sleep twice a day. Oh, and maybe a job too.

On a more positive note, Bright continues to work on saying things, although you really have to know the context because there are still lots of substitutions. He is crazy about trucks- and says "Uck, uck" at EVERY one that he sees or hears. Our previous sessions of labeling things have caused him to say "Dat!" and point to anything that he sees and wants to know the name of. He said "Pancake" with many substitutions two days ago. too. Bright has been giving nice kisses over the last couple of days and was quite pleased with himself when he figured out how to do them with a smooch sound afterwards. Obviously the lack of sleep isn't really bothering him too much.

Updates

I took Bright in to the doctor, well actually the nurse practitioner, on Friday to make sure that Bright didn't have an ear infection that might be causing his crankiness. All clear in that area. I don't think that he took a nap that afternoon- hard to remember now.. No, wait. He didn't. I was pretty spent by 3:00 that afternoon and he was really frustrated so I packed him up and took him to the play park where he happily played in the ground up tires under all of the pieces of equipment there for about 45 minutes. He totally did not want to leave and I ended up having to carry him in the Superman formation for a good long way back to the car, all the while going "Da Da Da SUPERMAN!! just to keep him from wailing like a banshee because he didn't want to go. Andy came home at 4pm and I handed him off and went to our room for about an hour. I can't remember how well he slept that night. Saturday we were supposed to go to a picnic about 45 minutes from here for our friend's graduation celebration. I was going to stay home with Bright instead, thinking for sure he would lose his marbles there after the week we had had and I sure did not want to be driving in the car with him for that long while the meltdown was happening. But at the last minute we all went- his napswent soooo easy and he was in great spirits. There were kids there for him to play with and he got over his shyness about five minutes after being there. we stayed for over three hours and he fell asleep in the back of the car holding hands with Andy. This is the second time that has happened and it is just about the sweetest thing I have ever seen. Well, then that night the college which is in spitting distance of here had fireworks for Spring Weekend and since we are so close you geta great view if them but you also feel like you are in a bunker with some explosions going on around you. Some of them rattle the windows. Bright slept right through it. Hallelujiah!
So, perhaps things are looking up. Today's naps went great. All of them of course happen by walking him around until he crashes out and then sticking him in the crib, but I am just happy he slept! Thanks for all of the support well wishes!

The following comes from an email my friends Karen sent to me. Personally I like the last one the best. I can see Bright saying that some day.

Simply having children does not make mothers.
- Author Unknown

The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.
- H.W. Beecher

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
- Abraham Lincoln

The Mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother and to become fully independent.
- Erich Fromm

They joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed.
- Author Unknown

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Children and mothers never truly part -
Bound in the beating of each other's heart.
- Charlotte Gray

A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
- Tenneva Jordan

There was never a great man who had not a great mother.
- Olive Schreiner

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
- Honoré de Balzac

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw.
All I am I owe to my mother.
I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
- George Washington

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Author Unknown

The best thing you can give children, next to good habits, are good memories.
- Sydney J Harris

The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mother and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all.
- Benjamin Spock

Who, being loved, is poor?
- Oscar Wilde

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing.
- Phyllis Diller

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
- Mark Twain

Happy Mother's Day!

Ugh.

I am beat. Yesterday was a nightmare here. Naps were the worst, clingy to mommy all day was at an all time high, I was cranky because the monthly friend is back again (what the heck- it was just here two weeks ago?!), the house looks like a bomb hit it because General Fussy-pants wouldn't give me a break to even try to pick up. I think my pending award for Mommy of The Year has been withdrawn. Shoot. So, any suggestions on how to get a baby that never just slept in his crib independently to start sleeping there independently? Carrying around a 24 pounder until he crashes out is killing my back. Letting him cry breaks my spirit (not to mention his). And we won't even ouch the issue of him constantly trying to put his hand down my shirt all day.... Who knew weaning would be such fun?

Perhaps a cheerier post later today if things improve...

Play Time Tuesdays

Every Tuesday Bright and I go to the Child and Family Center in town. It's an interesting place- lots of resources on parenting and child development , as well as get together groups for parents and their children to play. They have some great stuff there- ball pits, blocks, paints, all kinds of toys and things that Bright loves. The group there on Tuesdays is often on the low SES side of things and sometimes the kids look like they might not get as much TLC as Brighty does, but the teacher there for playtime is very nice and makes everyone feel welcomed and equal. Today Bright would not go down for his nap before going to play. He was tired but not giving in. So, I sadly told him that no nap probably meant no playdate with KIDS. OOOooo- eyes lit up! KIDS! He understood what that meant! He scrunched his eyes so tight and tried to lay still in my arms but it wasn't working for him. Poor guy so wanted to play- how could I deny him that fun just because he couldn't bring himself down first. So, off we went to playtime with KIDS- even though he still mainly plays next to them. He got lots of licks from the mini poodle there - Ruppert. Today we made Mother's Day pictures with handprints and a cute poem in the middle. He did some puzzles, read some books, chucked some balls around, played with some boats and generally had a great time. Then home for his nappy- he konked out after 5 minutes of walking around. Glad we went, I think he was too.

He Slurps the Milk

A few weeks ago when I was eating breakfast with Bright I drank the leftover milk out of my cereal bowl. He watched with amusement and fascination. For the past several breakfast sessions that have involved a bowl of Cheerios and whole milk for him, I have let him drink the milk out the bowl at the end. It brings him so much delight and also hurries him along with eating all those Cheerios. Now he does it loudly and adds the occasional "Ahhh!" afterwards. The folks in the Tokyo noodle shops would have been pleased with his performance.

We have started digging in our garden here. Bright loves it! Tonight he got right into on his own and started swishing his hands in the dirt back and forth really fast. Then before you know it he had taken off his shoes and was just having a ball. We had one really gnarly tub of bath water tonight when he got out of it.

Not much else is new here. Some re-arranging in the apartment since we have decided to stay put for a while. Might as well make it more cozy. Bright has fallen back into a more lousy sleep routine of later put downs and early wake ups (like 4:45). I am not sure that anyone else but us hears those damn birds singing that early in the morning. It's too bad that such a nice sound can make you cranky.

Floor sleeper

As I write this, I am sitting on the floor watching my son take his nap on the rug in his bedroom. I tried getting him the crib for naps over the past few days with little success. He would wake up very time his head hit the matress. For some reason he seems okay with the floor. I can't imagine that it's more comfortable than his crib. I know his teeth are bugging him and he has been waking up more at night now too. Hopefully this is just a phase and won't lead into him refusing the crib at night too.